


The Family Secret

by VioletKnox



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Cokeworth, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Muggle world, Spinner's End (Harry Potter), Summer, The Knight Bus (Harry Potter), Young Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:29:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28661751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletKnox/pseuds/VioletKnox
Summary: Excited for your summer break, you make plans with Severus to visit him at Spinner’s End. Nervous about your visit, Severus does everything he can to make your stay delightful, but nothing goes as planned when his father comes home early from work.
Relationships: Severus Snape/Reader
Comments: 21
Kudos: 81
Collections: Snape Bigbang 2020





	1. Spinner's End

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Implied child abuse (not explicit) 
> 
> A/N: It’s been such a long journey finishing this story up. Things did not go as planned when I signed up and there were times I didn’t think I’d manage to finish it. But here we are, and I’m so happy I pushed through.
> 
> This story has 5 chapters and since I didn’t plan anything for Sev’s birthday, I thought I’d make it up by posting the first (and longest) chapter today. The next chapter will be posted on Wednesday the 13th and after that, I’ll be posting one chapter every Saturday in January, the final chapter posted on the 30th. It was a pleasure to participate in the @snapebang and I hope everyone enjoys it!

He could still remember the first time he’d told you about his home on Spinner’s End. You’d only been dating two weeks and he had no obligation to tell you anything about his life, but he just couldn’t help himself. He’d been hoping for so many years to find someone like you, someone he could care for that would return the gesture. Someone he could love, trust and he did. He’d found you and there was no one else in this world he would ever trust more than you. Perhaps that was why he told you where he lived after you said you lived in Cokeworth as well, knowing the reputation Spinner’s End had built for itself. Lily had never cared for his family’s financial status, but her sister had, as did the majority of those he’d meet. He was afraid you’d react the same way, that once again his parents would ruin yet another good thing in his life, but you didn’t. You didn’t even hesitate to smile. But if you’d told him back then what you’d asked of him now, he would have questioned your knowledge on the reputation Spinner’s End carried and reconsidered telling you about his upbringing. 

Filthy, poor, loathsome, shameful, pathetic; those were the words he and many others would have used to describe his home, yet you seemed completely oblivious to those characteristics. You didn’t care about how small he claimed it to be. You brushed away his own distaste for the place and his offer to take you somewhere else. You simply asked again: _Can I come over this summer?_

The answer was much simpler than he’d made it out to be in his mind: _Yes, but you shouldn’t._ Yet he could only imagine the hurt in your eyes if he’d responded that way. He knew you’d understand if he explained, but you’d already tolerate so much of his own burdens. Who was he to ask you to carry anymore?In all honesty, he was surprised you’d stuck around this long after everything you’d seen at school. The way he was treated by others; like a filthy raccoon who wouldn’t stop trespassing on their property. You should have run for the hills the second you got a glimpse of who he was, but you didn’t. You stayed by his side and yet, despite everything you’d been through, he still questioned your loyalty. It was as if the moment you understood where he came from, the moment you’d _seen_ his home, who his father was, you’d abandon him like everyone else before you. 

It seemed however, that no matter what he’d say, no matter how hard he’d try, you’d always find your way back to him to put his heart back together. He loved your loyalty to him, your compassion for him. He loved everything about you and only a fool would shun the insurance you offered him of your expectations for Spinner’s End. 

“Severus, if you don’t want me here, I understand,” you said as you followed his lead down the street of Spinner’s End. Reservation still lingered in his chest and judging by your tone of voice, you were certainly aware of it. He was nervous more than anything. Yes, his father was away for the weekend and his mother never bothered to care for his presence anyways, but he still couldn’t help the dread in the back of his mind. Bringing you home was a risk, one that could end your relationship if you hadn’t been sincere about your views of his family. 

“N-no! I do, it’s just-” He paused and squeezed your hand as he looked away. “My house- where I live… It’s not what you imagine and my parents- they aren’t exactly the best of people.”

You’d seen him distressed before, the sorrow in his eyes when Lily cut ties with him, the anguish he went through when James and Sirius continued their harassments at school after the Whomping Willow incident. But you’d never seen such disappear written on his face before, as if he was preparing to lose something he held dear. You’d never meant to cause such emotions when you’d asked to come over for a few hours, but if you’d known the stress he felt now, you would have buried the thought deep in your mind, never to see the light of day and save him the hurt he felt bubbling inside him now. 

The way he tightened his hold on you made you feel all the more guilty. This was supposed to be a pleasant evening and Severus was acting as though you held a gun to his head. But you knew that once you’d entered his house and shown him you couldn’t care less about his living situation the mood would lighten. 

“You know I don’t care for that. Your home and your parents will never change how I feel about you,” you said, pulling his arm closer to your chest. Your words had the exact effect you’d intended as you felt the tension in his muscles release. His shoulders dropped slightly, but his hand tightened its hold on yours. 

Turning his head, Severus looked into your eyes and felt the assurance you offered seep into his recurring horrendous thoughts of abandonment. He always felt so safe with you, assured of the exclusion of the terrors the world offered when he was around you. As much as he hated to admit it, you were his rock, he couldn’t live without you and that was precisely why he feared your visit to his house. Why would he risk losing someone as important as you? And for what? A glimpse into his sad childhood on Spinner’s End? 

Nothing was worth losing you and if protecting his relationship with you meant you’d never meet his parents or step foot on Spinner’s End then so be it. He could live with hiding his past. He could learn to move on, he wanted nothing more than to move on, but he knew he’d never be able to find anyone as thoughtful or as loving as you.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” you offered, watching him hesitate to climb up the first step of stairs leading to the front door. “We can turn around and head to a park or something.”

You couldn’t stand how uncomfortable he looked. You didn’t want to see him like this, your heart aching as his hands shook, stuffing them into his pocket, clumsily searching for his keys. He was like a delicate, expanding bubble, ready to pop at any moment, exploding into a mess of emotions and you couldn’t bear seeing him in such a state.

“No,” he said softly, retrieving his keys from his pocket. “We can stay.”

Stretching out his hand, offering it to you, he took another step towards the door, watching you slide your fingers against his palm, gripping him tightly as you stepped forward as well. As much as he would have liked to take you up on your offer, he knew he couldn’t back out now because he knew exactly why you wanted to come over in the first place. Curiosity was a trait you’d never tried to hide and one that made itself more apparent the closer you got as a couple. You wanted to know everything about him because it made you feel closer. You wanted to trust him, to know him better than anyone else ever had. He could see your hurt when he told you about Lily, how much he’d wanted to share everything with her, how he thought she understood him, so he knew you’d want nothing more than to gain his trust enough to share _everything_ with you.

Slowly, he put the key into its lock and turned it, opening the door to his childhood, his summer prison. Everything he hated about himself was all stored under one roof, all about to be exposed to you. There were no words to describe the hatred he felt for this place, Lily being the only reason he had to look forward to returning every summer but as she broke off their friendship, his willingness to withstand this house sizzled away, leaving him with nothing but animosity. And then he met you. You were his new light, a clean breath of air amongst the smoky darkness surrounding him. You were his new reason for withstanding Cokeworth and Spinner’s End. Withstanding another summer under this roof was only made bearable by the thought of you existing within the same vicinity. 

The smile you wore on your face as you followed him, stepping within the threshold of his less than desirable home eased him a little and he wondered if you’d intended to appear happy simply because you knew how much it soothed him. You were always canny like that, catching onto his likes and desires faster than he was willing to admit, but it didn’t bother him. He was grateful for it and only wished he could return the favour. 

“It’s nice,” you said to him as he closed the door behind you. Any expectations Severus had given you were shot the moment you stepped inside, the walls bare, a singular couch and armchair squeezed into the shoe box sized sitting room. The couch was old, probably as old as the house judging by the chipped drywall and the worn-out floors. It faced the ashy fireplace which seemed to endure the same negligence Severus had said he’d felt over the years. The armchair’s cushion dipped in the middle as if an invisible being was sitting on it, the arms themselves scuffed from the ends. The only decor you could find was a singular picture frame of a couple you could only assume were his parents that looked as though it had been gathering dust for a while. 

“You’re not being truthful,” he replied bluntly as he let go of your hand. He took a look around the room and sighed. No matter how much he tried, there was no way he could have made the place presentable for you, but at least he’d managed to clean the floors of any broken shards of glass or stains left behind by whatever it was his father had decided to leave around the armchair. 

“The way you were describing it, Severus, I would have thought you lived in a dustcart.” You turned to face him instead of the room, placing your hands over his arms to get his attention. His hair was already over his face, his insecurities spilling out of him and you’d barely been here ten seconds. The house was quiet at least and you knew if you just sat down a while, he would get used to the idea of sharing his space with you. 

Severus’ gaze seemed to be fixed on the scenery behind you, so you slowly moved your hands up his arms and onto his shoulder, one reaching up to gently hook under his chin, encouraging him to break free of whatever horrible trance he was under. Your eyes finally met yet he still wouldn’t let go of the fear buried deep in his chest. 

“Sev, I love you,” you spoke softly, entwining your fingers in his hair, taking a step closer to him. Severus leaned into you, your touch a comfort he could find nowhere else. The tension in his shoulders started to ease until he realized he’d forgotten to thoroughly wash his hair today. His hand jerked up to remove yours from the shameful oily mess on his head, kicking himself for forgetting something so trivial. Already this day was going downhill, and he could only imagine the treachery that would follow. 

“Can we sit down?” You asked when you felt his hand on your wrist, pulling you away. You could tell he was still so uncomfortable and a part of you had begun to wonder if it was really his home he was ashamed of or if it was you. 

Severus, unaware of your own worries, slowly nodded his head, turning towards the couch, inviting you to sit beside him. His actions were almost robotic; one foot after the other, his legs bending enough to sit in his seat. He wasn’t sure what to do next, or rather, he wasn’t sure if you were disgusted by what you saw and were just too kind to say anything. He wouldn’t blame you if the next thing you did was ask to leave. In fact, he’d sort of expected it to happen at some point, he just had no idea when you’d ask. 

“Severus?” Your voice seemed so distant, like you weren’t actually here and for once, he hoped that was true. Your scent however, the glimpse of your face in the corner of his eyes told him otherwise. “Sev, if you’re worried about me don’t be. I’m fine with your home, I really am.”

Severus looked down to find your hand on his knee, your thumb slowly rubbing circles into his trousers as a way of comforting him. His lips gently twitched into the subtlest of smiles, his hand overlapping yours as he looked at you with softened eyes. He nodded his head in understanding and found himself silently thanking you and everything you were. Your presence, your joy, your mere existence was all a gift he was lucky to have received. 

“I-I can make tea,” he offered, hoping it would ease the tension around you both. You nodded your head and he got up from his spot, asking you to stay where you were, Merlin forbid you see another inch of this disgraceful prison. 

Severus creaked open the door that led to the rest of the house enough for him to slip through, quickly closing it after he stepped inside so you wouldn’t see your vision wouldn’t be tainted with any more of his embarassing life. He hastily made his way to the kitchen where he found his mother sitting near the window reading yesterday’s paper, likely stolen from the neighbour’s bin as she smoked what he guessed was her third cigarette today judging by the time. 

Opening the cupboards, he found the old rustic kettle and filled it up with water before digging for the matches and lighting the flame on the stove. He left the kettle there as he went back to find two clean cups. He’d opened all the cupboards in the kitchen before looking around countertops. He found two mugs, both dirty on the kitchen table, but one was chipped to the extent he was sure you’d noticed, so he cleaned the acceptable one and continued his search. Waving his wand, he watched the ditry mug levitate to the sink where it began cleaning itself. Looking back around the kitchen he found another mug on the countertop of the window, used as an ashtray. 

“Mum, can I use that mug?” He asked her, hoping she was in a well enough mood to simply wave him her approval. He watched with anticipation as she took another puff of her cigarette, acting as if he wasn’t even there. This was rather usual for her, but unfortunately for him, it meant she wasn’t in the mood to be disturbed. 

“Why?” She asked, keeping her eyes on her paper as she blindly tapped the end of her cigarette into her makeshift ashtray.

“I-I have a friend over and I wanted to make tea.” He paused and watched her eyes move from one side of the page to the other. “I’d asked you yesterday if it was alright for her to come over and you said it was.”

Sometimes he wondered if she cared more about her smoke breaks than she did him because it was moments like this where she’d pay more attention to those sticks of tobacco than she would her own son that had him questioning her priorities. The cigarette hung from her lips as she turned the page, staring at him like he’d said something damning. 

“A friend? Didn’t that Evans girl stop speaking with you last year? And why on earth would you want to bring her here of all places?” She suddenly seemed very interested in his evening plans when he’d explained to her multiple times over the last few days he was planning to have you over. But why would he ever expect her to listen when she’d done nothing of the sort the last 17 years. He in fact, could hardly remember a time where she’d managed to hold even half a conversation with him.

“Why do you care?” He snapped back at her. Frustration rose to his mind, his face turning red with anger. She had no right to question his personal life. She had no right to speak to him like he wasn’t worthy of speaking to other human beings. 

His expression hardened when he locked eyes with her, watching her take another drag of her cigarette as her lips stretched into an ugly frown. Tossing her newspaper in the direction of the bin, each page flying around, landing all over the floor, she put out her cigarette in the mug before pushing it with her index finger so it fell off the windowsill. 

“Clean that up,” she commanded lazily, easing off from where she sat and dragged her feet along the floor to the door. “And I suggest you see your _friend_ out before your father gets home.”

He didn’t take his eyes off her until she was completely out of sight, heading up the stairs, the house whining in agony with every step she took. Storming to the door, he closed it roughly, immediately regretting it when he remembered you were in the sitting room waiting for him. It was then he’d realized the kettle had been whistling, steaming angrily before he removed it from the stove and turned it off. He looked to his side where the broken pieces of the mug mixed with the ashes of his mother’s cigarette. With a sigh, he took out his wand and wove it over the area, trying to focus on the task at hand, putting aside his feelings towards his parents. 

He’d been so used to locking himself in his room or storming out of the house, returning when it was pitch black after interactions like that, but he couldn’t do that this time and it threw him off. He had to get back to you, get back to the safety of your bubble. At least with you, he could stand to be in this house, he could bear the backlash of his mother and the miserable life he led here. 

The mug put itself back together and he picked it up to examine it. He’d gotten rather good with this spell after he’d begun taking every broken dish, jar or whatever else his parents felt like breaking that day back to Hogwarts and fixing it the second he was allowed to do magic again. Turning seventeen was one of the best gifts he’d ever been given. No more restrictions, no more rules. He was able to do magic freely now and it had saved him more than once this summer, apparting away if they ever got too loud, cleaning his room faster than he’d ever previously managed. It kept him connected to his real home, even if he was miles away. 

Placing the mug in the sink, he washed and dried it, stopping the spell he’d previously cast and set aside the dishes for now. He walked over instead to the mess his mother had made and wove his wand over it to vanish the ash and newspaper. Finally, he made earl grey tea and even managed to find some biscuits to go along with it. His smile slowly began to return as he made his way back to you, opening the door with one hand as he carried the tray of treats in the other. Placing it on the coffee table in front of the couch, he took his seat next to you.

“Sorry, we don’t have any cream but there’s sugar if you like,” he said, gesturing to the small jar next to the cups. Your lips twitched into a smile as you watched him pick up the jar and unscrew its lid. He put two teaspoons of sugar into his tea before looking over his shoulder to see if you wanted any. 

“One is fine. Thank you Sev,” you motioned to him. He gave both cups a quick swirl before picking them up and handing yours to you. He sat back on the couch and looked down at the liquid swirling in circles, the awkwardness settling back into place before you spoke, thoughts of the consequences he feared to face for bringing you here returning to him.

“Is everything alright Sev? I heard something breaking while you were in there,” you said, nodding your head towards the door he’d just emerged from. You didn’t want to push or make assumptions, but Severus had told you his father was at work, which meant the footsteps you heard heading up the stairs not long before he returned to you were his mother’s. He’d barely ever spoken to you about her, but you knew he wasn’t too fond of either of his parents. You were never one to pry on someone else’s personal life, but with Severus it was different. You cared so deeply for him, you wanted to know everything, the good and the bad. But common dignity stopped you from asking him before about his family, hoping if you were patient, he would eventually trust you enough to share everything without you having to ask. 

“It was nothing, I just dropped one of the mugs, but I managed to put it back together,” he lied, looking away to take a sip of his tea. He kept his eyes on his cup as he lowered it, his hair defensively falling into position over his face. You noticed his gaze dropping and knew there was more to what he was telling you. Your shoulders fell in disappointment as you realized today was not the day he’d open up to you. But you had to look on the bright side, he trusted you enough to bring you to his home and you’ve been here a full ten minutes without him trying to push you out.

“So, will I get a tour later?” You smirked as you took a sip of your own tea. “Will I get to see your room?”

“Why do you want to see my room?” He asked, confused at your odd request. Your smirk didn’t help matters either. He was now unsure of how serious your question was. 

Sliding closer to him, you bit your bottom lip, unable to suppress your growing smile. It was absolutely adorable when he wouldn’t understand some of your hints. The way his brows would furrow, his eyes shifting like a lost puppy unable to comprehend where he was. “Well, wouldn’t you want to see _my_ room if you came over?”

You couldn’t help but let out a chuckle when you saw his eyes light up with understanding, a sly smirk of his own appearing on his lips, his cheeks tinting a light shade of pink. “I suppose. But my room isn’t really anything worth seeing. It’s small and cramped. I keep everything worth keeping in my trunk. Honestly, the dorms back at Hogwarts are more appealing.” 

“I don’t care how it looks,” you said, placing a hand on his knee in comfort. What you would give to see him just a little more proud of himself, just a bit more confident. Sometimes you wondered if all that affinity shared between you meant anything to him or if he even realized how much you’d been there for him, how you’d always be there for him. But in the end, your crazy thoughts of his negligence towards you was always just that; absolutely nonsense. “I only care that it’s yours.”

“Alright,” he reluctantly agreed. It was odd speaking to you about something he’d always been so insecure about, yet the feeling of worry over whether or not you would leave him after what you saw was beginning to dwindle away. Even with his mum unable to spare him a shred of decency, the evening had felt as though it was going fairly well thus far. At least you seemed to be enjoying the biscuits enough to eat a second even though they turned out to be stale. Still, you managed to find a way to turn the situation around, dipping them into your tea. You’d even finished your tea before him despite his vitality to speak as little as possible. He would much rather listen to you talk about how your summer had gone so far and all the plans you had for your last year at Hogwarts than speak of his home and life on Spinner’s End.

Life could never cut him a break and just when he thought he was finally grasping at happiness, Fate had to intervene, ruining any spark of joy ignited within him. Fate was cruel to him today just as she was cruel to him when he’d finally found a home in Hogwarts, introducing him to Potter while taking Lily away from him. Today, Fate had decided to shake up his plans with you and test him instead. The sound of the front door opening dropped his heart down to his stomach. He knew it was over the second his father took a step into the house, to be greeted by his son sitting with a stranger he’d been told nothing about. 

“What is this?” His tone showed resistance as he stared at you and Severus sitting on the couch. He was holding back like he always did when they were out in public. Your presence was taming him, but Severus knew it wouldn’t last long.

“H-hello,” you hesitantly tried to introduce yourself, feeling the tension in the air. You assumed the man who’d stepped inside the house was his father, but judging by the look on the man’s face, he had no idea who you were. Did Severus not tell either of his parents about your visit? Thoughts of disappointment and guilt filled your mind as you stood up, stretching your hand out to him. “I-umm, I’m (Y/N).”

The man squinted at your hand, staring at you in silence. You felt wary of the situation you’d suddenly found yourself in. Your introduction clearly doing you no favours. Awkwardly, you lowered your hand to your side along with your gaze in embarrassment as you sank back down on the couch beside Severus. 

“We were just drinking tea,” Severus finally spoke, trying to explain with as few words as possible why there was a stranger in the house. Looking at him, you questioned why his voice had suddenly lost all its power. It sounded as though he was speaking to a wall, you’d never heard his voice so monotone before and it frightened you. Perhaps he was right, and you shouldn’t have come over. 

Severus watched his father squint at the two empty mugs on the coffee table, evidence that you’d both finished your tea a while ago. Severus could already tell lies was all his father would see. The way his father’s black eyes pierced his, he knew nothing he said now would forgive inviting you over. 

“I see.” Severus felt a slight shiver run up his body from his father’s simple words, but he still maintained eye contact with him all the same, hoping he could at least try and brace himself for what came next. He watched the man take a few steps around the couch, speaking one final word as he opened the door to the rest of the house. “Severus.”

His voice commanded obedience from Severus and immediately he knew he was being asked to follow him to the kitchen. Shrugging his shoulders, he let out a small sigh. His hair fell over his face as he closed his eyes, trying not to think about what was to come next. Reluctantly, he stood from his place and motioned to begin following his father through the door when he felt a hand tightly grasp at his, holding him back. 

“Sev, is everything okay?” you whisper to him, your brows furrowed, and your voice muffled with worry. Severus sat back down on the edge of the couch next to you, his gaze still lowered in shame of the interaction you’d just had with his father. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to come home until the evening. 

“Severus!” His mother’s voice echoed through the room, a sign he was in deep trouble. His punishment was always worsened whenever both his parents were there to discipline him and he wasn’t ready to face those consequences tonight. Not tonight of all nights. He couldn’t handle it knowing you’d be in the next room. 

“It’s fine, just- umm, stay here,” he told you quickly before standing up, pulling away from you and marching straight into the kitchen like a soldier ready for battle. You sat there frozen for a moment, the silence around you deafening. Severus looked so upset when he’d left you, wearing the same look he’d have after an interaction with James and his friends. This summer was supposed to be about building your relationship with him, growing closer to each other and enjoying your time together. You never thought you’d see that look on his face in his own home with your company.

“SHUT UP EILEEN! THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU!” The voice of his father roared throughout the house. Your heart stopped at the sudden burst in rage coming from the other side of the door. Your chest rose with panic and fell with worry. Against better judgment, you stood up and slowly walked over towards the commotion, fear of those doors bursting open as you got closer. Your palms pressed against the chipping paint as you listened in on the rest of their conversation.

“This is about your ungrateful son!” The man continued pouring his anger out on those in the other room. “How dare you bring some stranger into _my_ house!”

Your heart ached for Severus. You weren’t a stranger to him and-

“I live here too!” You and Severus were a lot alike in more ways than one, but it seemed in this situation, your thoughts had aligned more than they ever had before. Unfortunately, it seemed his father didn’t care to allow Severus any sense of belonging.

“ON MY DIME!” The man screamed.

Your heart sank as the yelling continued, the more they spoke, the more you were certain Severus was living in a toxic environment, one you’d be forced to leave soon, forced to abandon the one person in this house that seemed to have a kind soul. You had to do something, you couldn’t just stand here. Intervening would be a horrible idea, you or Severus could wind up injured, or worse. No, you couldn’t let yourself be separated from Severus, you couldn’t leave him during a time like this. 

Every bone in your body resisted as you went to cautiously open the door enough to look through to the other side. You saw the light on in another room where all the yelling was emerging from, and quickly took this chance to slip through the door, closing it behind you and making your way up the stairs. You paused halfway up, crouching down in fear of being caught, hoping Severus could free himself of the entrapment his parents had suddenly put him in. 

“You should have quit that ruddy school a long time ago, gotten yourself a job and contributed to this household like I had when I was half your age!”

It seemed the man had no sense of pride, happy to have his son throw away his potential all for his own benefit. Helping _him_ pay the bills instead of watching Severus build a future for himself was apparently the right priorities to him. Severus was a brilliant wizard, and you knew his skills would provide him with many opportunities in the future. You’d always told him that, even before you started dating, you’d never missed out on a chance to let him know how much he inspired you, how you had him to thank for so much of your own success at Hogwarts. It didn’t matter what his father thought so long as Severus knew he wasn’t wrong to focus on his studies, to strive for a better life than his parents, you were happy. 

You hurried up the rest of the stairs, optimistic they would finish their episode of abuse soon and began to look around on the second floor. You found two bedrooms and a bathroom. The first bedroom you would have assumed was the master bedroom as it contained a queen-sized bed, but the bundled up sheets and pillow in the corner had you second guess your assumption. It appeared as though someone had been sleeping on the floor, but when you entered the second bedroom, you knew that person couldn’t have been Severus. This second bedroom had to be his room. His trunk was in here, shoved into the closet, an old desk with one of its legs repaired with what appeared to be a chopped stick of a broom sat opposite of the twin sized bed that filled up most of the room. 

Sitting on his bed, you felt the springs in the mattress snap and you almost jumped up in surprise, but you kept yourself still, worried that any noise you made would bring you unwanted attention from downstairs. Poor Severus was already being scolded for your presence in this house, you didn’t want him blamed for the risky choice you made of sneaking into his room. Down below, you heard the sound of a door shoved open followed by footsteps before the shouting resumed. 

“She’s not there Tobias,” spoke his mother. Just as you’d suspected, they’d gone looking to kick you out of the house. What followed was a sentence you never thought you’d hear, something you felt so offended by, you would have given up your position just to prove them wrong. 

“Another friend abandoning you,” his father scoffed, a bit of spite in his tone as he talked down to Severus. “I could only be so lucky as to have the same privilege.”

Severus didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to believe you’d abandoned him, but he could however believe his parents scaring you away. He wondered how his summer would go now that you knew everything about his life. He tried to picture you receiving his countless letters begging to see you and throwing them in the trash without so much as glimpsing at his words. He tried to imagine how his final year would go without you by his side, celebrating his freedom alone, watching from afar as you went on to find someone else, all because of the horrible way his parents had treated you. 

You’d told him so many times, tried to reassure him so many times you weren’t going anywhere, but deep down he knew they were just words. They meant nothing and in the moment, you couldn’t handle the horrific truth. He didn’t want to believe it, but he didn’t blame you. He didn’t hold it against you for leaving. That luxury was only to be held by his parents. The luxury they’d held over him since the day he was born. Severus bowed his head in shame. He was embarrassed for opening up to you like that. For trusting you and thinking you’d be different. His shame slowly turned his disappointment into rage, tears pricking his eyes, daring to expose his emotions to his parents when he was already so vulnerable. 

_Let them punish me. Let them relish in my embarrassment. I deserve it._

“I’m taking you to the mill tomorrow,” his father informed him. “You’re getting a job to pay back all the money I put into you the last 17 years.”

His life was over. He knew it and so did his parents. He was doomed to work for his father for the rest of his life, always in his debate. He wasn’t to graduate Hogwarts, he wasn’t to send you any letters, he wasn’t to dream of the great wizard you said he could be. He said nothing in response, the pain he felt in his chest, his face, his ribs, his stomach, his heart all too great to allow him the energy to speak a single word. 

He watched his mother walk back to the kitchen and lift up the chair his father had thrown at him, tucking it into the small kitchen table. One of its legs was broken and he knew if anyone sat on it, it would break. But so long as it appeared put together, so long as it _looked_ fine, he knew they wouldn’t care. His father went and sat down on the chair no one but him was to use and waited for his mother to serve dinner. 

Severus once again found himself completely invisible to them. They’d let out their emotions, lashed out at him and made sure he knew his place, then went back to their lives, pretending like he didn’t exist. He’d only wished they’d done that when you were here. If they didn’t acknowledge your presence like they did his own right now, perhaps you’d still be together. Perhaps he wouldn’t have to live the rest of his life alone, but such a mercy was too much to ask of course. He was made to be punished, he was born to suffer and that was to be his fate until the day he died. 

Slowly, he walked out of the kitchen, not to make a sound lest he be noticed again. He held his breath with each step he took, exhaling when he reached the second floor. He turned to make his way to his room, twisting the knob, ready to crawl into bed and drown in his tears, but the second he opened the door, about to throw himself onto his mattress, he was met instead with a sight he’d never dreamt of seeing. You were there, waiting for him, waiting to comfort him, your arms warm as you wrapped them around him. His lips trembled as he lost himself in you. He was falling in love with you all over again, the rush of emotions all too great to conceal. 

He’d barely managed to close the door, trapping you both in the cold darkness of his prison before everything he’d kept buried inside for 17 years spilled out silently. He trembled as he let his body lean on yours. His muscles giving out, too tired to continue standing, his mind too beat to stay strong. He couldn’t do it anymore. He was too exhausted.

“Severus,” you whispered into his ear, testing the waters, knowing you couldn’t let yourself be heard. His tears were silent, and you knew you had to oblige to the same rule, but you couldn’t hold back. You couldn’t let him think what you knew his mind would have concluded not moments ago. “I will never leave you.”

His grip tightened when you spoke, reminding him of why he’d opened up to you in the first place, why he’d trusted you. He hugged you with as much strength as he could muster, letting his tears leak from his eyes, soaking your shirt as you stood there frozen in time. He’d lost himself in his mind before feeling your hands move down to his waist, pushing him away just enough to guide him into his bed. The covers were pulled over his body as he nuzzled into yours, feeling its warm embrace comfort him as you held him once more. His tears began to dry as the safety of your presence soothed him, telling him it would be alright. He had nothing to fear, nothing to worry about because he had you and you weren’t going anywhere. 

Adjusting your position, you slid down the bed enough to lay on your side, facing him. His eyes were half open, his breath heavy as you rose your hand, gently cupping his jaw, your thumb slowly swiping his cheek. He relaxed under your touch, your eyes, your smile assuring him he was safe. The darkness welcomed him as he closed his eyes, focussing on your touch, the only sound in the room, his heavy breaths. 

“Sev?” You broke the silence, whispering his name. “I think you should come stay with me awhile.”

You’d been reluctant to offer an escape from this house, but the way he looked, the exhaustion on his face broke your heart. It angered you and you couldn’t let him stay here. You couldn’t let him endure one more second of the abuse in this house. 

His eyes opened and met yours, your chest aching as the light in his eyes faded away. He slowly nodded his head in agreement, fear of what his parents might do to him if he was caught trying to run away bubbling in his mind. He was afraid, yes, but staying here and living the miserable life they’d planned out for him was a much worse fate than anything else he imagined they would do if they caught him. He’d been wanting an out for so long, and here you were offering him just that. 


	2. The Knight Bus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You start your journey to escape Spinner’s End with Severus and try summoning the knight bus for the first time.

Your thoughts spiralled as he cuddled into your side, sleeping away the events that kept you up. Resting in this house was the last thing you wanted to do right now, but Severus looked so tired, so beat from whatever happened in that kitchen last night, you’d decided to stay another hour and let him sleep before you made your escape. You’d tried to fall asleep, tried to forget for just a moment, but his partial weight atop you, his heavy breaths brushing your skin reminded you of all the pain he went through because of you and it broke your heart.

You hadn’t asked him what happened and you didn’t care to know. All you wanted was for him to be safe and you were thankful that at the very least you’d managed to stay with him tonight. You couldn’t let anything else happen to him and you weren’t going to. You were going to protect him and save him from this house, no matter the cost. You couldn’t go on knowing the abuse he suffered through, the agony he’d suppressed all these years. Just the thought of leaving him here in this house tore at you, worried the next time you saw him, he’d look worse than he did now, or Merlin forbid you never see him again. The thought boiled your blood, and you couldn’t stand staying another second on this tainted street. 

Slipping from under him, you carefully removed yourself from his bed as not to wake him. You pulled the cover back over him and watched him sleep a moment as you gently brushed his hair away from his face. Fetching your wand, you silently cast lumos and looked around his tiny room. He didn’t own much, but at least that meant it would be easy to pack. Making your way to his closet, you carefully opened it and found his Hogwarts trunk shoved inside it. Looking back at Severus, you very gently grabbed hold of the trunk, its weight heavier than you expected and carried it out of the closet. 

Opening it, you went back to the closet and folded up a few clothing items he seemed to prefer to wear and tossed them in the trunk. You would have found it odd that he hadn’t unpacked the rest of his things when he got home from Hogwarts, but you understood now that this wasn’t his home. Hogwarts is where he felt safe, where he belonged, where he was happy and this house, this street was nothing more than a prison to him. 

“(Y/N)?” Severus’ coarse whisper caught your attention and before you could even process the fact he was awake, you’d jumped up and quickly made your way over to him, sitting on the edge of the bed with a hand cupping his cheek. 

“Hello,” you whispered back, smiling as he blinked his sleep away. “It’s time to go. I’ve packed most of your things.”

Severus nuzzled into your touch a moment, words unable to describe how happy he was you’d stayed with him after what happened last night. He was enchanted by you, falling further in love with you if that were even possible. You cared for him enough to stand by his side, to help him and he couldn’t wait to leave this house with you, never looking back. 

Sitting up, he rested against the wall behind him, his hands searching to grip yours. He held your free hand between his tightly, never wanting to let go as he found your eyes, tilting his head into your palm. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“It was nothing,” you smiled and, to Severus’ disappointment, pulled away. “We should get going.”

He knew you were right, that there was no time to spare staring into each other’s eyes, but he was scared. Once your journey began, there would be no taking it back. He didn’t want to know what would happen if he got caught trying to sneak out, trying to escape and with you no less; the stranger he’d let into his _father’s_ home, the reason he’d been punished, humiliated. But bringing you here was all worth it if not to have you comforting him these last few hours. He would have given anything to have any form of care when he was younger, seeking it in a friend with Lily, in the notes he took in his mother’s old Advanced Potion Making book, in the books he’d thrifted over the years, piling up in every corner of his room. Anything to help him forget the reality he lived in, to provide him any sort of relief. 

“How are we going to get to your house?” He asked as he pushed himself off the bed, his legs suddenly feeling like they were made of glass. 

“I read that any witch or wizard can summon the Knight Bus by simply raising their wand,” you said, kneeling to clasp his trunk shut. Severus nodded having read the same thing and hoped you were right about how to summon it. If what he’d read in the books were true, his parents wouldn’t be able to follow them once they got on the bus, at least, not without magic. 

Severus made his way over to the door and slowly opened it, peering out to catch any sign of his parents before he quickly grabbed hold of one side of the trunk as you gripped the other. With you walking first, you made your way down the stairs, careful not to make a sound, your heartbeats the only sound filling the house. Relief washed over you both as you reached the bottom step, slowly walking to the closed door that led to the sitting room. 

With one hand holding the trunk, you gripped the doorknob and turned it, but the moment you tried pushing it open, the door creaked so loud you would have thought the hinges were about to fall off. Severus had never once heard that door make such a sound, almost as if the house was protesting his escape, like it wanted him trapped here forever, unable to leave. But he wouldn’t have it. The house may stand here on the edge of Spinner’s End for all of eternity, but he wasn’t going to suffer the same fate. Nodding his head, he encouraged you to open the door and as if ripping off a bandage, you quickly pushed on the doorknob. The door flung open and before you could worry about anyone hearing you, the door’s screams were silenced as its movements came to a halt. 

Moving quickly, you walked to the front door and took out your wand, casting a silent alohomora to unclasp the locks on the door, letting Severus led you to the main road. You would have asked Severus why there were so many locks, but the answer seemed rather obvious after everything you learned last night. Poor wasn’t the right word to describe Spinner’s End as its reputation would say. No, last night showed you Severus’ fears for what you’d learn lay on the surface of something much grander. This street wasn’t simply filled with families of a low income, they were broken families, hope lost to them all, reflected in the houses lined up next to each other. The paint on the outside chipped, the foundation of the houses barely holding together, the windows always covered but never cleaned. The spirits of those on Spinner’s End were broken, faith and aspiration lost to all but one. 

Each step he took freed a chain around him meant to keep him tethered to Spinner’s End. He was free. He’d done what no one on this street could do and left. There was no turning back and he wouldn’t dream of it. If he’d gone to live on a park bench, he’d still be happy, but the fact that you were with him, freeing him from his prison was all the more gratifying and for the first time, he was looking forward to spending the summer in Cokeworth. 

“This is far enough,” you said, motioning for him to set the trunk down. The streets were almost pitch black, a singular flashing streetlight trying it’s best to illuminate the road. Severus cast a silent knox and put away his wand, walking around the trunk to you as you held your wand in the air, feeling rather silly expecting something to happen when you hadn’t cast a spell. A few seconds passed and you looked at Severus, wondering if you’d done something wrong. 

“Maybe it takes a moment?” Severus suggested as you lowered your wand. Nodding, you took his hand and waited until you began to feel rather frustrated. Raising your wand again, you held it up a few moments longer before letting it fall back to your side. “Maybe I should try?”

You agreed and let him take out his wand to raise, your own providing light as you both waited in anticipation. Still nothing happened and you were almost inclined to start walking when a gust of wind passed you by, almost throwing you off your feet. 

“Alright, alright! Yah didn’t have ta keep calling!” you looked back where the road was black and found a purple bus staring back at you, the door open with a man as skinny as a Bowtruckle clearing his throat, putting on a pair of reading glasses and pulled out a card, holding it such that you could no longer see his face. Glancing back at Severus, you found a look of shock reflected in his face, both of you rather taken back by the sudden appearance of the bus. But it worked. The bus had arrived and you were almost free. 

“Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard.” The man read from the card like it was of no importance. “Just stick out your wand hand, step on board and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Kipling Crawford, and I will be your conductor this evening.” 

He put away his card, stuffing it into the old drags he wore over his shoulders and stared back at you. Severus arched his brow at the man, unimpressed with his speech. He knew not to expect much from the Knight Bus after reading about it, but this was definitely not what he’d imagined when he pictured summoning it. 

“Well don’t just stand there! Come on now!” The man gestured for you both to make your way in and to him, you supposed, you both looked rather silly standing there with all your puzzled looks when this extravagant appearance and introduction was normal to the man. Putting away your wand, you pick up one side of the trunk and walked onto the bus, Severus climbing in after you.

“Woss your names?” asked Kipling. 

“Does that matter?” Severus snarled at him, having enough of his demanding demeanour. The man had a job to do and Severus was running out of patience, tired from last night, wanting to get out of this neighbourhood as fast as possible. 

“Ya don’t have to take a tone with me,” Kipling looked unimpressed with Severus and continued to speak mostly to you. “We only need yur name to call ya when it’s yur turn.”

“(Y/L/N).” You quickly gave him your name so as to not cause any more trouble, hoping to get through this with as little tension as possible. You and Severus had already had a rough enough night, there was no need to worsen it by starting an argument with the man who worked on the vehicle that was supposed to be your safe haven. “How much?”

“Eleven sickles,” said Kipling in a tone you assumed was him trying to be more professional and less friendly. “For thirteen ya get a hot chocolate and for fifteen ya get a hot water bottle and toothbrush.” 

The tickets were more expensive than you’d assumed, swearing you’d read it was cheaper than that and you wondered for a moment if the man rose the price out of spite for the tone Severus gave him. Taking a quick glance to the side, you noticed a few stains on the floor, empty cups with chocolate residue tossed in a few corners. Clearly, they hadn’t thought through the concept of a hot drink on a moving vehicle and though hot cocoa would have been great for you both tonight, it was clearly not a good choice to make. Despite the price, you were happy to leave Spinner’s End so you reached into your pocket and handed the man a Galleon and five sickles for two tickets. Kipling took the money from you and handed you back two tickets. 

“Where ya headed?”

Taking the tickets, you gave him your address and looked to your left, taking a proper look at the inside of the bus, amazed to find candles burning in brackets beside the beds, each surrounded by curtains. The same coloured curtains hung over the windows, some open some closed and there were a few passengers sleeping or sitting on their bed, waiting to continue the trip. 

“Ya get those two,” Kipling pointed at the two beds in the far corner of the bus before turning around to seat himself back with the driver. You walked forward and made your way to the back of the bus, your assignment likely as far away from the conductor as possible thanks to the attitude Severus had taken with him. But it was no matter, you were both exhausted anyways and didn’t need anyone trying to make small talk. It was probably best you be as secluded as possible. 

Setting down the trunk, Severus collapsed on the bed in the corner as you kicked the trunk under the bed. The bus immediately started moving, leaving Spinner’s End just as fast as it had arrived. Unable to keep your balance, you fell backwards, almost toppling over one of the candles that seemed much more secure to its brackets than it looked. The trunk you’d just moved under the bed however was free to move, and as the bus swerved all over the road, you found yourself covering your face and gasping as the trunk came sliding at full speed right to you. Moments passed and you didn’t feel it collide, the bus continuing its maddening movements with no care for the passengers within it. Slowly opening your eyes, you found the trunk frozen in its place in front of you, floating a few feet off the ground before it moved back to its place under the bed. Severus had his wand pointed at it, sitting on the bed as he looked at you in worry. 

“I’m fine,” you said quickly, jumping to your feet and throwing yourself on the bed next to him. Severus put his wand away and fell back on the bed, turning to face you. 

“This bus is not what I imagined,” he whispered to you in a rather rough voice. You furrowed your brows at how he sounded, like rocks were stuck in his throat. Even now, laying next time to him, you could tell he was having a bit of trouble breathing and you began to wonder if all that noise you’d heard in the kitchen last night had done more damage than you thought. 

“Are you alright Sev?” You whispered back to him, resting your hand on his cheek, your thumb caressing his pale skin. Your eyes looked him over, stopping at his nose where you saw a small bruise forming on its side. Gently, you let your fingers brush over it, Severus closing his eyes as he nodded, smiling at your touch.

“Get some rest, we still have a ways to go,” you told him, worried his father had broken his nose and corrupted his airway. At least the hard part was over. You could both relax a bit and try to heal before you settled into your home on the other side of town. 

Severus made himself comfortable, cuddling into your side as you wrapped your arms around him and pulled out your wand, hovering it over him. You did your best to cast the few healing spells you knew and hoped it would be enough to help him, but his breathing remained coarse throughout the ride home, your worry for him growing with your frustration. You couldn’t bear hearing him struggle like this, each breath heavier than the last, tearing at your mind as you tried to do what you could for him. 

Sleep found Severus rather quickly as he drifted off, leaving behind his worries for a peaceful summer and resentment towards what was supposed to be his home. For the first time in a long time, he found himself dreaming rather vividly, the gentle strokes off your fingers through his hair easing him into sleep as he dreamt of a happy future with you, one filled with opportunities and growth. He could do anything he wanted now. There was nothing tying him back, nothing holding him to that house, holding him to the obligation of his father’s burdens or his mother’s desperation. He was finally free and freedom felt so much more amazing than he could have ever imagined. 


	3. Deep Breaths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally make it home, safe and sound, happy to welcome Severus into your family. Finally you feel at ease until you’re woken in the middle of the night.

Severus had barely any time to sleep before it was your turn to be dropped off, the conductor glaring down the bus in your direction when he called your name. You were too tired to care for the overgrown child holding a grudge on you because your boyfriend was irritable. Your eyes were heavy with exhaustion and it took everything you had to stay awake, telling yourself you were almost there as the bus swerved around the town. 

“Sev,” you whispered, lightly shaking his shoulders to wake him. “Severus.”

You heard him groan in protest, he cuddled into your side as if you were waking him to head to class. You ran your fingers through his hair and smiled as he hummed in response and for the first time that night, you saw a look of content reflected on his face. He was no longer worried about what you might think of him, whether you’d leave him to the horrors of his family or not. He no longer cared what his parents might do, how they may react. None of it mattered anymore. He’d left Spinner’s End, never to return and for the first time in his life, he knew without a doubt he had someone who cared and loved him back. 

“It’s time to go,” you urged him, trying to push him up. Pulling himself off you with a groan, he rubbed his tired eyes, trying to shake off his sleep. He looked worse than he had before he’d fallen asleep, a giant bruise on the side of his jaw making itself apparent and you could only hope that was the extent of his injuries.

“Already?” He spoke like he had the flu, his voice heavy with pain, harsh like his throat was made of sandpaper. 

“I’m afraid so,” you chuckled, gently tucking his hair behind his ear, your fingers hovering over his bruise tracing its outline. Your smile slowly faded into a frown, Severus grasping your wrist when he saw the sadness in your eyes. The last thing he wanted was for you to worry over him. Wounds heal, but it’s hard to change the way people view others, something he was all too familiar with, and he didn’t want you to see him like some helpless child that needed your protection. 

Placing his hand over yours, he peeled it away from his face, gripping it tightly instead, hoping to assure you he was fine. Your eyes met his and you felt your worries melt away as you focussed on him. Severus smiled as he watched your expression soften, relieved you wouldn’t make a big deal over his injuries. Leaning in, he tilted his head and pressed his lips to yours, his hand finding itself in your hair as he kissed you. You eagerly kissed back, forgetting about last night, forgetting you’d just helped him run away from home and how worried your parents must have been when you didn’t come home yesterday. You focussed on his touch, his kiss, his love for you and left behind any concerns about what was to happen next. 

“(Y/L/N)!” Shouted the conductor. You pulled yourself away from him, Severus leaning in to keep your lips connected for as long as possible, a small whimper of complaint escaping his lips as you stood up, pushing back the curtains to find Kipling glaring down the bus in your direction. “Your stop!”

You rose your hand to thank the man and turned back to Severus, raising an eyebrow as you suppressed a laugh. You’d never seen a man as old as Kepling hold a grudge over the way a teenager had treated him, but you found the absurdity of the situation absolutely hilarious and apparently so did Severus. He no longer seemed short tempered towards the man, his mood improved after the short nap he’d taken. There were no words to express the relief you felt seeing him happy, watching the life return to his body. 

As Severus took his time to get up from off the bed, you removed the charm on the trunk and pulled on the handle to reveal it from where it hid. Once the bus came to an abrupt halt, Severus took the other side of the trunk and you both made your way off the bus. Kipling glared at you both, arms crossed as you passed him by, saying absolutely nothing when you tried to thank him. The second you’d stepped off the bus, the doors slammed shut and the bus was gone, leaving you in the dark once again. 

You shook your head at the insane night you’d had, hoping that your arrival at your destination meant the nightmare was over, that you could both finally get some rest. You glanced over to Severus who looked rather confused, glaring at the house you’d been dropped off at. It wasn’t enormous, but it was large enough for you to know never to mention it to Severus all these years, knowing how he’d feel about your family’s fortune. But it wasn’t just the size of the house that Severus found quite shocking, it was the fact that it was the only house on the street alive at four-thirty in the morning. The first floor was completely lit and he could see movements in what he assumed was the kitchen. 

“My father’s a doctor,” you explained as you pushed open the gate and made your way up to the door. You’d mentioned previously both your parents were Muggles, but you’d never cared to share what they did, always avoiding the question when he asked, feeling guilty when he told you his mother was unemployed and his father was a factory worker. You never minded of course, but the way he looked when he told you of his parent’s work status, you could tell he was ashamed. 

“What?” Severus looked confused as if your statement couldn’t possibly explain why your house was awake, hoping the reason wasn’t because of him and your choice to stay at Spinner’s End last night. You giggled as you set down the trunk to search for your keys, realizing he had no reason to understand the job of a Muggle doctor. Ever since you’d left for Hogwarts, you’d felt yourself detach from the Muggle world more and more, your parents the only reason you keep in touch

“He works the night shift Thursday through Saturday,” you told him. “He always leaves for work around seven pm and then returns at four in the morning.”

“But why? That sounds like a horrible schedule to keep,” Severus asked, staring at the window where your father’s shadow was shown holding a mug and reading a book. He found it strange for someone to want to work such hours, especially when the entire country was asleep right now. 

“He didn’t pick his schedule,” you said as you pushed open the door and pocketed your keys. Severus watched the figure in the kitchen turn towards the sound of the front door opening before setting down the mug and book to make his way into the sitting room. Stepping inside, he helped you carry his trunk inside before you shut the door. 

“(Y/N)?!” Severus watched your father quickly make his way into the room, clearly concerned for you. “Where have you been?!”

He’d barely thrown Severus a quick glance before focussing his attention on you. His reaction wasn’t one Severus had ever imagined coming from a parent, his own never glancing twice if he stayed out late so long as he was there in the morning for chores. Your father cared for you, the panic of harm coming your way evident in his eyes. He would have been jealous long ago as he always was when he saw others with their parents, but he felt happy watching him hug you. He wanted you to be loved, to have people worry over you, to have what he didn’t. 

“I-I know I said I’d be home by midnight. I’m sorry, something came up. I-” you spoke apologetically, your eyes trying to calm him as you both kept your arms hooked on one another. You peered over in Severus’ direction and he saw the smallest sliver of a smile on your face, like he was part of the family, being welcomed home instead of the intruder he truly was. “Can Severus stay here for a while?”

The man shifted his glance to Severus, letting you go as his eyes scanned him over. He felt self-conscious as he waited in anticipation for the man’s answer, to see if this house would reject him, claiming him unworthy like Lily’s had. He knew how he looked, bruised, hair likely dripping with oil, clothing dirty and torn. He wasn’t exactly in the ideal state to be meeting your father, let alone barging into his home at four in the morning asking for a place to stay. 

“What happened?” your father asked.

“Can-can we talk about it in the morning?” You pleaded with your eyes, too exhausted to do anything but sleep. You both needed to rest after the night you’d had, after you’d made your escape. Severus was free of that horrible house and you just wanted to make sure he was okay rather than argue with your father right now. 

It seemed as though hours would pass by as you both stood there, staring at the man, his arms crossed, eyes squinting, glancing between you and Severus. Neither of you knew what you’d do if he said no. You didn’t have enough money to find a place to stay and going back to Spinner’s End wasn’t an option. He had to say yes, there was no other choice. You’d fight for him to stay with you, at least for the night and if it came to it, you’d figure out what to do tomorrow, take it one day at a time. Finally, your father relaxed his posture, his arms falling by his side as he let out a sigh in defeat.

“Fine. Uh, Severus, you can stay in our guest room,” he agreed to your terms, pointing to the door beside the staircase down the hall. 

“Papa please, can he stay in my room? Just for tonight? Please?” You pushed your luck and Severus could hardly believe your daring attitude. It was enough for your father to agree to let him stay, generous of him considering he’d never met Severus before, but you had concerns. Severus was getting weaker with each moment that passed. He was physically, mentally and emotionally strained from everything that had happened and you wanted him by your side in case anything were to happen.

“Absolutely not.” Your father rejected your request as predicted. 

“Please Papa? It’s been a long night and I don’t want to leave him.” You took Severus’ hand and pressed his arm into your chest, hoping to sway your father. You knew he had a soft spot for you; being an only child did have its perks, at least with your father. 

“Please,” you begged, smiling as you held Severus tighter, your boyfriend likely completely red in the face by now from the situation, but you couldn’t risk taking your eyes of your father to find out. He kept glancing away from you, shaking his head, rolling his eyes at your stubborn behaviour, but you kept your position, never letting up. 

“Fine. But keep your door open,” he finally agreed, and you relaxed your grasp on Severus, happy you wouldn’t have to leave his side just yet. 

“Thank you!” you sang in glee as you turned your eyes to Severus, smiling when you saw his hair fallen around him, what little you could see of his face, beet red. He was embarrassed of course, ashamed he had to ask for help from the parents of the person he’d been dating, who he loved and wanted to make a good impression for. It wasn’t supposed to go this way. He wasn’t supposed to stand there in front of the man like a beggar, a homeless student with nothing to show for but the clothes on his back and the trunk you’d helped him lug around. The way the man looked at him now, pity in his eyes, a look of remorse, this wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. 

“Go upstairs and I’ll fetch my first aid kit.” your father ordered, looking rather concerned for Severus. He was paler than usual, his skin whiter than paper, his eyes bloodshot and his breaths heavier than ever before. You’d been so concerned with your travels, getting him to safety, you’d hardly noticed how discoloured he was. 

Picking up one side of the trunk, Severus grabbed hold of the other as he followed you up the stairs to your room. Your room was at least three times larger than his, your bed holding a queen-sized mattress, pillows fluffier than a Pygmy Puff, a large desk organized with as much supplies as you could ever need. None of it a shock to him considering the size and location of the house. You placed the trunk against the wall between your closet and the door before flicking on the light to your room. You’d barely invited Severus to have a seat on the bed before your father came back into the room, setting the first aid kit onto your desk and unzipping it. 

Severus rose a brow at you, doubting how effective Muggle medicine could be, but he let your father examine him nonetheless. Having you by his side was all that gave him the strength to pull through all this. He looked down at his hand, watching your fingers slip through his palm to interlock with his. Your touch was medicine enough for him, the cream your father had given him for the bruises useless when you’d spent all of last night mending his heart.

“I’ll be fine,” Severus insisted, the man asking Severus to remove his shirt so he could examine his chest. “I just need some rest.”

You were about to protest, to insist he let your father look him over properly, but you knew how tired he was, how badly he needed a good night’s rest and for all you knew, his evident pain was all due to lack of sleep. Smiling at your father, you agreed with Severus, wanting to rest as well and put last night behind you. Your father reluctantly gave Severus a few painkillers before putting away his kit, realizing how hard of a day you’d both had and began to make his way out of the room. 

“We will discuss this in the morning,” he said, standing by the door. You nodded and stood to remove your shoes, socks and jacket, deciding to sleep in the clothing you had on and change in the morning.

“Goodnight,” you said, watching him leave you be and make his way across the hall to his own room. Looking back to Severus, you let out a sigh of relief, closed your eyes and tilted your head back. It was over. You’d made it. He was safe, he was home. 

Severus walked over to you and gently placed his hands around you, his touch feather light as you let the weight lift off your shoulders. You eased into him, returning his hug and you both held each other, engulfed in the silence; the beautiful sound of peace and freedom. You held onto the moment, smiling as you each leaned on the other, trusting one another. You couldn’t help but hum in delight, breaking the cherished silence between you.

“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice silky smooth, soft like the clouds in the sky. He was grateful for you, for everything you were to him, for simply existing. He’d spend the rest of his life trying to repay the gift you’d given him tonight, breaking him out of the chains that weighed him down his entire life. 

You snuggled into him, your fingers running through his hair in comfort, your face sore from smiling for so long. You loved him so much, your heart fluttering as you held him, thinking about spending your summer together, happy and safe. The events you’d witnessed yesterday, the way he was treated in that house was a nightmare you never thought he’d suffered through, his life resembling that of a prisoner than a poor Cokeworth boy living on the wrong side of town. 

Neither of you knew how long you’d stood there for, but when your legs could take no more, they walked you both to the bed, your hands interlocked until you managed to find your way under the covers. Like a moth to a flame, your bodies held onto each other tightly, your limbs tangled in one another, his face nuzzled deep in the crook of your neck, your lips pressed against his hair, taking in his scent as sleep welcomed you with open arms. It took no more than five minutes for you both to drift off, dreaming of your futures, the possibilities that awaited you, the mends that could be made with those you’d both said goodbye to long ago. Severus had closed the door on his past, his family, but you’d kicked open a hundred windows for him, opening his life up to so many opportunities. He was no longer tied down to live as the boy with massive piles of debt passed down from his parents, trying to work his way out of poverty. He was the boy with great potential, the boy with love to help him concur anything thrown his way. 

You wanted nothing but the best for Severus and the Sandman had granted you that wish tonight, your dreams filled with aspiration for him, watching him complete his Mastery in Potions and rise to be known as the Wizarding World’s most successful portioner. He’d be awarded an Order of Merlin and you’d be there by his side to support him, always. You gasped in amazement at his achievements, gasped when he told you he couldn’t live without you, gasped on the day of your wedding, gasped-

When you woke at the sound of alarmingly desperate gasps, a sound like none other you’d heard before, like a wounded animal screaming for its life. Your eyes wanted to stay closed, to shield you from the horror of the real world. _Go back to sleep, life was kinder in your dreams._ Severus was gasping for air like he was drowning, unable to come back to the surface. Your body jolted up when you finally realized what was going on. 

“Severus!? Sev!” You sat, kneeling beside him on the bed, your hands cupping his cheek, hoping to wake him from this nightmare, that you’d both wake up perfectly happy again. His eyes opened the slightest bit before rolling back into his head again, his chest desperately grasping for air. “Severus please!”

Tears swelled in your eyes as you begged him, begged Merlin, begged the universe for this to stop. It was a dream, a horrible nightmare. It had to be, this couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be happening. You were happy, you were safe, you’d saved him. _No, no, no, no!_

“Papa!” You shouted through your cries, your mind unable to grasp the situation, screaming at you. Your body tensed, your arms wrapped around him desperately. You could do nothing more than cry, to hug him, to shout and scream, your thoughts too scrambled to think to do anything else. 

Both your parents came running into your room, your mother turning on the light and your heart dropped as you saw the colour completely lost from Severus’ face. He was a ghost, a mere image of the boy you loved. Your vision blurred as your tears thickened, carrying every memory of him that flashed through your mind, every plan you’d imagined for your futures together. Your own throat closed up, no longer accepting air as you screeched lowly. _Please_.

“(Y/N)! Get off the bed!” your father ordered, but you couldn’t process his words, anything past the perimeter of your bed miles away to you. You couldn’t focus on anything but the state of your boyfriend. He was barely breathing, his eyes refusing to open, his blood no longer pumping through his body. The world was lost to your mind. You didn’t want to accept it, you couldn’t think that way, he was still here, he was still with you, he was still alive. 

You felt yourself being pulled back into reality as your mother hugged you from behind, dragging you off the bed. Your body was too weak to function, too focussed on the panic you felt that you fell backwards in your mother’s arms, bring you both down to the ground as she held you, your tears falling to the floor as you watched your father take your place, tearing at Severus’ shirt to examine him.

“His lung collapsed,” your father stated so casually, like Severus was just another one of his patients, like he meant nothing to him. Your blood boiled at the absurdity of his words. How could his lung have collapsed? What had his father done to him last night? How had he managed to travel on the Knight Bus with you? Your mind burned with questions, your tears drying as your panic turned into rage. Anger covered up your fear, wanting to blame someone, to go back to Spinner’s End and make those horrible people undo the damage they’d done to their son. You struggled to keep yourself grounded as your mother slowly let go of you, your father’s words muted to your ears as he spoke. 

“Grab the car keys and call the hospital, let them know I’m on my way with an emergency patient,” he said to your mother who immediately ran out of the room. Her heavy footsteps echoed in our head, your vision finally returning to you as you watched your father pull Severus to the edge of the bed. 

“I-I can take him to St. Mungo’s,” you managed to say, finally grasping the situation and trying to think of the best way to help Severus. “They-they have better treatment, faster treatment.”

“It’s too far away. By the time we even reach London he’ll-” Your father shook his head as he slowly gathered Severus in his arms, lifting him off the bed to carry him out the door. He paused and looked back at you, seeing the pain in your eyes, the worry and sorrow. 

“He’ll be fine (Y/N). Just, go help your mother,” he tried to assure you, but his tone told a different story than his words. He was just as worried as you were and that frightened you more than anything. You let out a shaky breath, trying to push aside your despair before nodding slowly and turning on your feet to run over and grab the keys to the car, your father making his way after you with Severus. Your mum got off the phone just as you picked up the car keys and ran to unlock the car, following behind you in a haste. 

Tears returned to your eyes as your father entered the garage after you, Severus lying lifeless in his arms. Your bottom lip trembled as you pushed down your emotions, trying to stay strong for him. It would do no good to resume your state of panic, it would do _him_ no good. You had to stay strong for the both of you. For Severus you would stay silent, you would hold him and cast every healing spell you could think of on your way to the hospital. You’d keep yourself from falling apart for the sake of his life, his future. You couldn’t let yourself mourn him because he wasn’t gone. He had an entire life to live and so you fought just as his body was fighting to keep him alive. Together you would fight through this, you’d survive and come out the other end stronger than before. You’d conquered over so much pain and agony within the last few years together, there was no reason for you to give up now. You were going to fight off death, win his life back and re-join each other on the other side of the battlefield, you were sure of it. It was love that brought you home tonight and it was love that would bring him back to you again. 


	4. Sense of Serenity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a state of panic, you leave Severus at the hospital and try to find your strength again.

There was nothing you wouldn’t do to rid Severus of the hand Death had on him right now. You’d take his place, go back in time and prevent last night from ever happening, anything to see his eyes open again, to hear his voice or see the colour return back to his skin. You felt absolutely powerless running your fingers through his hair, holding your wand up to him, waiting to arrive at the hospital. His breath weakened with every moment that passed, your tears staining your face, your eyes puffing with sadness. The only sound to be heard were your sniffles and moans of despair when you checked his pulse. You’d given up trying to heal him, your knowledge too limited to help him at this point. The spells you’d learned were so simple, too simple for his injuries, but how could you have known this would happen? How could you have known to spend more time learning healing spells instead of Transfiguration or Potions? What good were those skills to you or Severus now?

Slipping your hand out of his hair, you cupped his jaw, swiping your thumb across his cheek. He felt so cold, his skin so much paler than usual, many would have mistaken him for a ghost if it wasn’t for his dark attire. Lowering your hand, you pressed two fingers to his neck, looking for his pulse as you’d done obsessively over the last fifteen minutes. You waited a moment before moving your fingers a little further down, unable to feel anything. Your heart raced as you begged to find a sign of life, anything to keep you from assuming the worst, but you were given no such luck as you held his wrist in your hand, his pulse nowhere to be found. Your tears blurred your vision, your hands shaking as you let go of his lifeless hand, trying to keep his head steady on your shoulder, turning your body to him as much as you could. 

“Sev?” you whispered in desperation, trying to get any sort of response from him. The silence he gave tore you in half, your heart dropping as you searched for his breath, feeling nothing. Your hand went to his chest in a panic, frantically feeling for any sign of life to ease your mind, anything at all. 

“He-he’s not breathing.” You choked on your own words, barely able to speak. Your panicked state had taken you over and you felt nothing but fear and agony as you sobbed, holding Severus tightly, afraid that if you let him go, you’d lose him forever. “He’s not breathing!”

“We’re nearly there. It’ll be alright (Y/N),” your father said, the car raging as it swirled through the empty streets. You could tell he was trying to remain calm for you, because someone had to keep themselves together. His optimism, the comments he gave you now were so much like the ones he gave you when you were scared as a child. Scared to leave them and head to Hogwarts for the first time, scared when your grandfather fell ill, scared when you thought you lost your school owl and his words had always helped you back then. But none of that could ever compare to how you felt now, the fear pumping through you was something you’d never known before, something pretty words or a comforting hand couldn’t fix. You needed Severus to be alright, you needed to feel his heart beat again, his voice, the warmth of his skin. 

“You don’t know that!” you snapped at your father, your emotions exploding in your response. You’d completely fallen apart, your hands shaking uncontrollably, a migraine settling on the side of your head, your eyes exhausted from the ocean of tears you’d shed.

The car settled back into silence before coming to a complete stop, your father’s door swinging open. He stepped out and you watched the hospital come alive as lights were switched on, the back door of your car opened as your father reached in to grab Severus from you. He slipped out of your arms so quickly, placed into the stretcher and rushed into the hospital, the world leaving you behind in the car with your sorrows. Your bottom lip shook as you tried to speak, your hands shaking, your vision blurred as you pushed your body to follow. You needed to follow him, to stay by his side. He’d spent so much of his life so alone, you promised yourself you’d never leave his side, but you couldn’t move. It was all too much, and you couldn’t find the ability to function.

“(Y/N)?” Your mothers voice echoed in the distance, muffled by the buzzing plugging your ears. You felt your mind fading, your eyes closing, your mind embracing the darkness. You didn’t want to live like this, to feel this way anymore and if you couldn’t find the happiness you’d felt with Severus again, then you’d welcome the silent nothingness instead. “(Y/N)!”

You felt hands grip your shoulders, your feet meeting concrete, chaos all around you. Your eyes opened and were met with your mother’s, concern written all over her face as she tried to snap you out of the daze you found yourself in. She hugged you, her warmth an automatic comfort for you, but it wasn’t enough. Your arms were around her, but you felt empty, the universe disappearing around you, your mind blank. Thoughts of Severus and everything you’d been through washed away with such ease, no more pain, no more sorrow, no more joy, just nothingness and you welcomed it.

“Let’s go inside,” your mother said as she took your hand, pulling you toward the doors, the same doors Severus had just disappeared through. 

“No,” you whispered, your feet planted to the ground, refusing to take another step. Your mother turned around at your resistance, looking at you with shock. Your heart beat angrily against your chest, your breaths fastening as it all came rushing back to you. “No!”

“(Y/N)-” The concern in your mother’s voice had returned, her eyes meeting yours, her hands gripping your arms, but you couldn’t go in there. You couldn’t walk through the doors and step into the building where Severus was fighting for his life, or worse, the building his soul had departed his body. You couldn’t do it and you didn’t want to. What use would it be? You couldn’t help him in Spinner’s End, you couldn’t help him in the car, and you couldn’t help him now. You couldn’t even bring yourself to think of him, to pray that he’d be alright, to hold on to hope. You were weak, and the last thing Severus needed right now was weakness around him.

“I-I don’t want to go in there,” you whispered in shame, coming to terms with the lack of power you held. Your eyes drifted down to the ground, your chin meeting your chest as tears fell to the ground. You felt your weight collapse in on itself as your body followed the trail your tears led to the ground, melting into the road where you stood. You felt arms wrapping themselves around you, pulling you into the warmth of your mother’s chest as you cried. “I can’t do it mum. I can’t do it.”

You were a complete mess, broken into pieces outside the Hospital in the arms of your mother. You’d lost everything tonight. Your love, your life, your hope, your future. You were left with nothing but pain and misery to keep you company. Everything had been going so well, you were happy when you’d made it home and you’d let your guard down, let Severus rest, his adrenaline dying down. There was so much you wanted to do with him, so many firsts you had yet to experience with him and now, you’d never get the chance. 

“We don’t have to go inside,” your mum said softly, running her fingers through your hair. She was the bit of light that kept you alive in this darkness. She was all the hope you needed to hold on to for Severus. She’d always read you so well, always knew what you needed, when you needed it. 

“Come on then,” she said, lifting your chin. “There’s a cafe nearby that’ll be open at this hour. A bit of air will do you some good.”

You let her help you up, your hand never leaving hers as you slowly left the hospital behind, walking away if only for a moment. It wasn’t guilt you felt as you crossed the street, never once looking back, but disappointment. You were part of a world meant to be more advanced, meant to heal the sick in a way Muggles never could, but nothing you’d learned could fix this. Your magic was useless, and Severus’ fate was left in the hands of Muggle doctors. 

The cafe was nearly empty when you got there, only one other person sitting at one of the tables with untouched biscuits, a large cup of coffee and a newspaper held in front of them. Your mum ordered you both a cup of coffee and you drank them in silence, letting your mind calm down enough to let you think again. You couldn’t replay the last two days, it brought too much pain and you couldn’t focus on what was happening right now either. Instead, you tried to think of the positives, to look forward in time again. He would survive, he would heal and you’d be right there with him. You’d both get to enjoy the rest of your summer and your last year at Hogwarts together. You’d find jobs, work to be a healer, to learn the skills you lacked today and you’d live together. Never will you let what happened tonight happen again. Never would you feel useless and powerless during a time of need of someone you loved. 

“He’ll be alright.” Your mother had broken the silence, her cup barely touched when yours was almost completely drained. 

“I know,” you spoke softly, your voice monotone and steady. Your mind was clear now. You couldn’t change the past, nor could you control the future, but you could be strong for Severus in the present. You had to be there for him, do anything you could to help. “I want to go back.”

Your mum nodded, offering a gentle smile and abandoning her coffee to walk you back to the hospital. You knew she would have been happy if you’d simply pulled yourself together and kept from completely falling apart but, that glimmer in her eyes told you she was thrilled you’d found your strength again. Your mother had always felt such sorrow whenever she saw you hurting, and just as she could always feel your pain course through her, she could feel your spirit growing now as you stepped inside the hospital, making your way to the waiting room to find anyone who could give you some answers. 

You watched your father stand from his slumped position when you spotted him, walking hastily towards you as you fastened your own pace. You looked at him wide eyed, your mouth gaped open with so many questions on your mind, but not a single word escaped your lips. Your throat closed up, but you could see he knew what you’d ask. 

“He’s in surgery,” your father began, gripping your shoulders as he spoke. “He has a collapsed lung and a few broken ribs, but he’ll pull through.”

He sounded so sure, so confident in Severus’ recovery and you couldn’t tell if he was speaking to you as a doctor talking to a patient’s family member, or your father, saying anything to ease your mind. Either way it wouldn’t make a difference. You were glad to hear your father so confident and that Severus was getting as much help as any of you could provide him at this moment. 

“There’s more,” he said just as you felt yourself finally relaxing the slightest bit. Your eyes were wide again, waiting in anticipation for whatever horrifying news caused your father to look at you with such worry. Already the night had turned out as horribly as you could have ever imagined, what more could the universe throw at you now? “The police were called once I’d informed the staff what I knew of Severus’ injuries and they want to speak with you. (Y/N), you don’t have to answer their questions alone and if there’s anything they ask that you are unsure of, don’t be afraid to say so.”

“It’s okay papa.” You gave your father a small assuring smile as you moved his hands away from you, showing him you were strong enough to do this, to share Severus’ story and do for him what little you could while he fought for his life. “I can do this.”

Your father exchanged a quick look with your mother, his shoulder dropping in ease before he led you down one floor to meet with the policeman who’d been waiting to ask you about last night. Your parents stayed with you throughout the interview, your father grasping at every word. You spoke of what you’d heard when you’d visited the little house on Spinner’s End, how Severus appeared when he met you in his room, how you’d run away to your parents’ house in the middle of the night and how Severus’ condition had seemed to worsen as the night grew longer. The more you spoke, the more relieved your father seemed, and you began to realize he hadn’t insisted on bringing Severus here because it was faster than a visit to St. Mungo’s. He wanted to visit the only hospital in the small town of Cokeworth because it was the one place that could officially free Severus of the chains attaching him to his parents. He was living in the Muggle world with a Muggle father and thus, keeping him out of that abusive household would require a Muggle solution. 

Time ran away from you the further into detail you got, making sure to share every word, every shattering noise you heard in that kitchen coming from his mother and father. You didn’t want to spare a single bit of information, knowing now this was the best way for you to help Severus and make sure those horrible people had no right to come by searching for him once he’d recovered. The policeman seemed to have a bottomless bucket of questions the more you spoke until finally you were cut off by a nurse who’d come to inform you Severus was out of surgery and on his way to recover. 

“Can I see him?!” You jumped to your feet, abandoning the interview without a second thought, your eyes begging the nurse to say yes and lead you to him.

“Are you family?” the nurse asked instead, his brows arched, convinced you were not to visit Severus since it was against hospital rules. You were about to try and make a case for yourself, telling the nurse you were the closest thing Severus had to family when the policeman intervened and took the nurse aside to speak with him. You could only assume he’d told the nurse of the situation at hand when the nurse gestured for you to follow, but you couldn’t care less what magic words were spoken between them to have you led down to see Severus.

You were practically skipping down the hall as each step you took brought you closer to Severus again. It felt like ages had passed by the time the nurse finally showed you into his room, letting you in and asking the others to wait outside. She informed you that Severus’ lungs were still weak from the surgery and he shouldn’t do anything that would require his lungs to work any harder than they had to, including speech. But none of that mattered to you. You were beyond thrilled to simply see him sitting up in that bed, staring back at you with his eyes open and his chest rising and falling. 

The voice of the nurse fell into the background as you rapidly walked towards him, your eyes filled with tears of relief, joy and bliss as you stood by his bedside, grinning from ear to ear. You slowly leaned forward and gently wrapped your arms over his shoulder, hugging him with absolute glee. You sobbed into his hospital gown as you felt his hands pressed softly against your back. You pulled away only when you felt his arm drop, his energy too low to keep his limbs up for so long. Pulling up the chair that sat beside him, you sat down and leaned in to take his hand in yours, your smile never leaving your face as you stared back at him. 

He looked tired, like he’d been through hell and you suppose, in a way, that was a true statement for you both. But he was alive, and right now, that was all that could ever matter to you. The last couple of hours had been the worst hours of your life and you were overjoyed that it was over. 

“Does it hurt?” you spoke softly, like the mere sharpness of your tone could break the happiness you felt right now. Severus looked back at you, his eyelids betraying him as they grew in weight, trying to close, but he refused to let them win. He wanted to see you, to look at you and hear your voice. It was the first thing he thought of when he woke up, your name the first word he spoke to the nurse who’d come rushing by his side when he tried to escape the boundaries of his bed. 

He gripped your hand as tightly as he could manage, his eyes never leaving yours as he began to see the agony and heartbreak you went through while he was unconscious, being cut into and sewn back together by Muggle doctors. He didn’t want to put you through any more pain, but he couldn’t lie. Even without a voice, he knew you could see right through it if he said no so he slowly nodded his head instead, a smile growing on his face as he flipped his hand over to interlock his fingers with yours. 

“I’m so sorry Sev,” you whispered to him, guilt rushing back, coursing through you when he confirmed the hurt he felt. You blamed yourself for not spotting his agony sooner, for not running to his aid when you heard all those horrible noises in the kitchen. You blamed yourself for not knowing how to heal him, but he clearly didn’t feel the same, shaking his head, his eyes staring into yours as he brought your hand up to his chest, lightly hovering it over his heart. You smiled back at him and understood him completely. 

“I love you,” you said, raising your free hand to cup his jaw. Severus leaned into you and let himself close his eyes just for a moment to take in your touch. Words would have been lost on him even if he could speak and, in a way, he was glad he couldn’t, knowing he’d be unsure of what to say. Last night was one of the most stressful night’s he’d ever experienced and he’d been so focussed on keeping you safe that he’d completely neglected to worry about himself. Then again, why would he care to worry for himself when you’d done such a good job of doing that for him. You were there for him, you always had been, always sticking by his side, wanting the best for him. 

Your eyes watered with tears as you watched Severus’ content expression soften as he opened his eyes and for the first time this weekend, they were tears of joy. Your smile stretched ridiculously wide across your face as Severus leaned in to swipe away the tear trickling down your cheek. You loved the feeling of his warm hands on your skin, so alive, so loving and you immediately went to press his hand against your jaw with both of yours, enjoying the short moment before you were approached by the policeman who’d interviewed you earlier. 

Both your smiles faded, your hands dropping to the bed when he stopped in front of you, the nurse watching by the door with his arms crossed alongside your parents. Your moment was ruined, but you still kept your hand in his, never wanting to let it go in fear of losing him. You were never going to make the mistake of leaving him alone again.

Everything you’d told the policeman suddenly came rushing back to you, your heart pounding in anticipation for what was to happen next. The policeman introduced himself, a smile tugging on the corner of his lips as he tried to ease into a conversation with Severus. Looking back at the nurse, you could tell the policeman was doing this against his wishes and frankly, you couldn’t help but agree. Just one more moment alone with Severus and perhaps you’d feel differently about the policeman’s intentions. 

“Your friend here has made a series of allegations regarding your injuries,” the policeman said, gesturing to you. Severus looked over to you and you felt yourself shrink in your seat, feeling guilty for how poorly you spoke of his parents. You were so angry, so upset with how they’d treated him, you blamed them both for your visit to the hospital and you’d made that rather evident when you spoke to the policeman. “I’d like for you to either confirm or deny the statements I have here. Now, I’m aware you were told not to speak, but a simple nod or shake of your head will suffice. Do you understand?”

You looked up at Severus, your brows furrowed in worry, your heart raging against your chest as you watched him nod his head. The sound of the policeman flipping open his notebook haunted your mind, thoughts of what he could have possibly written in there sending shivers up your spine. How long would this take? Would Severus be mad for how descriptive you were? Would he ask about everything that happened in the kitchen?

“Yes or no, did (Y/N) (Y/L/N) arrive at your home on Spinner’s End around six o’clock last night?” The man had the tip of his pen pressed against his notepad, waiting for Severus’ answer, scribbling when Severus nodded his head before moving onto the next question. If all the questions were to be this simple, perhaps you’d be in the clear. 

“Were the only other people present last night your parents?” Severus nodded, his grip on your hand tightening as he grew concerned of what else the policeman might ask. He was curious to know what more you’d done while he was unconscious, how much you spoke of last night and what you were thinking. He was afraid when you’d come over of the impression his house would give, he never would have thought it would all turn out in this way. 

“Were you left alone in the kitchen with both your parents around nine o’clock?” The man’s jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing as he gripped his pen and notepad tighter. You could see the air growing tense around you as you’d gotten closer and closer to the ‘incident’ everyone was speaking of. Severus nodded his head, looking directly at the man, his heart beating viciously against his chest, as if trying to warn him of the dangers this road would lead him down. 

“Did your father hurt you?” Severus’ eyes snapped straight to yours. He’d been so unsure of what you’d told the policeman, conflicted between the idea of you jumping to the worst case your mind could have possibly come up with, and the simple fact of what you knew to be true. It seemed however, you’d taken it upon yourself to solve the not so complex puzzle and share your deductions with the last person he would have wanted you to talk to. He wished he could have been there to stop you, knowing full well it would cause an explosive argument, one that would end in tears. He could see it in your puffy red eyes, you were beyond concerned for him, wishing he’d left that house a long time ago, but it wasn’t as simple as that. He hadn’t had a place to go before he’d met you, his pride too important to speak about the truth to anyone, least of all you or Lily. But even if he could run away, even if he’d packed his bags and left, his parents would have found him anyway and he didn’t want to know what they’d do when they’d found him.

The entire night, he’d worried that they’d find him, that running away with you was a mistake, that his plan to flee to the Wizarding World was completely out of the question now that he’d been placed in a Muggle hospital. His eyes shifted down to his lap as he thought through his options. On one hand, he could tell the truth and possibly, very possibly, gain some sort of sympathy from those in the hospital, enough that they wouldn’t try contacting his parents, but on the other hand, if he lied, if he denied what you claimed, his punishment would be less severe once his parents eventually found him. 

“Severus,” you whispered, worried about how silent he’d suddenly gotten. He’d been doing so well, answering all the questions asked of him, you didn’t want him to stop now. Severus looked back at you and realized there was no debate to have. The safest choice for you, the one he knew you’d want him to pick was to tell the truth. At least with the truth, others would know of the danger his parents could bring and could help protect you from whatever blame they’d put on you. Looking back at the policeman, he hesitantly nodded his head, shame running through him as he watched the man scribble in his notepad before moving on to the next question.

“Did your mother hurt you?” Severus shook his head without hesitation this time, giving into the truth of his situation. No more lies, no more hiding. It didn’t matter, not when he had you here by his side, holding his hand tighter than ever, supporting him, loving him. 

“Did your mother intervene in any way?” Severus shook his head and he could feel his heart trying to leap out of his chest with worry. He felt every fibre in his body object to what he was doing, trained to keep what happened at home behind closed doors. 

The questions went on and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. There were just so many and the man didn’t seem like he would finish any time soon, simply flipping to the next page every time he reached the end of the current page. How much had you told him? How detailed did you get? How much longer would he have to endure this endless interrogation?

Leaning his head back, he let out a puff of air and felt his chest ache with pain. Closing his eyes, he tried to steady his breathing, knowing he was still in recovery from the surgery he’d undergone. You looked at Severus with concern, knowing this was growing to be too much and clearly the policeman saw it too. 

“Just one more question Severus. Did you and (Y/N) leave the house at two in the morning without the knowledge of your parents?” Severus nodded, his eyes barely open, his head still thrown back as he felt his chest get heavier and heavier. Your hand running up and down his arm was all he could focus on now, the only thing that kept him grounded. 

The room grew quiet once more as the policeman stepped away from the bed, speaking with those still standing at the door. You could hardly pay attention to what they were saying, keeping your eyes on Severus, your hand in his as your fingers ran along his hairline, brushing his hair back in comfort. You let out a sigh of relief when you saw the smallest glimmer of a smile return to his lips, happy it was all finally over, that he could rest properly, knowing you were here beside him. 

The sound of the door brought your attention back behind you to find you were finally alone, finally granted a moment of peace. Time ran away from you as you continued to sooth him, his smile growing until you finally stopped your motions. His eyes shot open, his smile fading as he watched you stand from your seat, afraid you were about to leave just when he’d begun to feel like things were going back to normal again. But to his delight, leaving was the last thing you had on your mind. Instead, you walked around the bed and slid beside him, Severus trying to make as much room for you as he could. 

You laid on your side, gently throwing your arm around his waist, your head resting on his shoulder. Severus placed his arm over yours and leaned into you, his mind clear, filled with nothing but love for you. He enjoyed your company, fighting sleep just to watch you cuddle into him. He smiled when your parents walked in and you pretended to sleep, knowing they wouldn’t wake you after the night you had. You didn’t want to leave him, you couldn’t leave him now, not after everything that had happened. You were never going to leave his side again, no matter how many people told you it was time to go, that you could come back during visiting hours, that he needed rest. The more the nurse asked you to leave, the tighter your grip on Severus became, your heart unable to step two feet away from him, scared you’d never see him again if you left. It was an unrealistic fear, you knew that. You knew he was safe here, that he was well on his way to recover and would be fine by the time you came back, but you couldn’t bring yourself to so much as let go of his waist, like you were trying to make up for your previous inability to protect him when you’d left him alone with his parents. Eventually, your parents went home, the nurses keeping an eye on you every few hours as they finally let you be. Severus watched you until he couldn’t stay awake any longer, no word large enough to describe how blissful he felt right now. Sleep finally took over you both, a sense of peace settling into your chests as you found yourselves again. You were happy, you were both so happy, the universe owing you a moment like this after everything you’d been through, and you didn’t hesitate to accept this small gift of serenity.


	5. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After spending what felt like forever in the hospital, it’s finally time for Severus to come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Thank you everyone who’s made it all the way to the end! I hope this chapter lives up to the rest of the story and wraps it up nicely. It’s been a long journey starting with the idea of a summer visit to Cokeworth and travelling with the knight bus way back in July of 2020, and I had no clue where I wanted the story to go from there. I’m absolutely thrilled at the experience this story has brought me and I’m very grateful for the support I was given this month with each chapter being posted. 
> 
> Since this is the end of this story, I will resume posting my requests and new chapters of LSL next week, alternating between them. I really enjoy posting on Saturdays, no pressure to post on work days and I can take my time putting the post together, so I think from now until further notice, I will continue to post on Saturdays (probably more like Sunday for some of you on the other side of the world). Hopefully this is a schedule everyone will enjoy (let’s see how long i can keep it up this time) and I can’t wait to continue growing my masterlist (which is getting really long and I should probably do something about that).

Days passed by like weeks, each one just as exhausting as the last, your worry over Severus whenever you were forced to leave him growing until you couldn’t take it anymore. Every day you’d ask if he could be released, pleading with them to let him heal at home, but ‘no’ was all you heard until finally, by the grace of Merlin, they let him leave the hospital and you would no longer have to spend the night complaining about leaving his side. 

You wasted no time running to Severus, finding him dressed and ready to go. You stood by the door and watched him walk towards you, your feet springing to life as you leaped on him, almost toppling him over as you finally gave him a proper hug. You wrapped your arms around him, your bodies pressed together as you buried your face in the crock of his neck. His small chuckles music to your ears, the way his hands ran up and down your back, pressing you into him. He had his strength back, he was whole again, happy and free. You closed your eyes and wouldn’t dare move, too scared to let him go. But of course, as they always did, your parents walked into the room saying it was time to go, only this time, you knew Severus would come along with you and that was the only thing that gave you the strength to push him away. You took his hand and made your way down the halls of the hospital, beyond ecstatic you wouldn’t have to come back here again tomorrow. 

“So, I’ve decided what I want to do after Hogwarts,” you said to him as you walked through the hospital doors, leaving that horrific chapter of your lives behind, keeping your eyes forward. 

“Oh?” Severus smiled, looking over to you in admiration. He loved your optimism, your ability to turn any situation into a positive and he loved how much you cared for him, your grip on him never faulting. 

“I want to be a healer,” you said firmly, smiling right back at him. Severus burst out laughing almost immediately, the irony of your choice rather amusing. You giggled in return, never offended by his hysteria, but simply elated with the sound of his joy. His face was glowing with life, his skin warm beneath your touch, his smile radiant and his booming voice a thing of miracles. Not one week ago was his voice taken from him, the pleasure of hearing it stripped from you. But now, to see his lungs able to take in such a breath as he laughed was the best gift you could have ever received. 

“Why is that funny?!” You asked, a bit taken back by his sudden outburst, wondering what was on his mind.

Severus shook his head as his laughter died down to a smile, his eyes beaming at you, looking at you with admiration. “No, I think you’ll be an amazing healer.”

You smiled back at him, opening the car door and pulling him inside, refusing to let go of his hand as you slid into your seat. Severus wouldn’t dare loosen his grip on you, knowing it would absolutely shatter your heart as it would his. For a week he’d been leaching onto your company, letting it heal him, and for a week, he felt himself become enveloped with sadness every time you left him in tears. He couldn’t wait to get back to his life with you, to return to Hogwarts and finally find himself home again. 

“I’m glad you’re alright,” you said, getting yourself comfortable, sitting as close to him as you could, your head on his shoulders, his arm pressed into your chest, his fingers interlocked with yours. You ran your free hand up and down his arm, until his own hand stilled it, grasping it to rest between you both. 

“Me too,” he whispered, resting his cheek atop your head, a few strands of his hair falling over his face. Severus had always resented car rides, only ever getting the privilege of experiencing one when he grew old enough to help his parents with work or chores. But this car ride made him forget the past and it couldn’t even compare to the one he’d enjoyed when Lily’s mother drove them to the movies for her birthday. He could feel the peace of the city moving past him back then, his life belonging to him and him alone. For the first time in his life, he could do what he wanted, spend his life how he liked and he was happy he’d found you to spend it with. 

All in all, this wouldn’t have been his optimal choice for introducing himself to your parents, but they seemed so nice, so supportive and he knew your influence likely had a hand in how they treated him this past week. He couldn’t imagine what your father had to sacrifice to take on the night shift every day just to look over Severus’ recovery, but he was grateful for it. He felt accepted, like he’d always been a part of your family. It was odd knowing there were people who cared for him as much as he did you, but it was a good feeling. He felt important, like he had purpose, a reason to go on, to live the best life he could. 

Having you lead him inside as he entered your house was such a surreal feeling. He knew he’d been here once before, but he was so out of it last week, the pain in his chest, the worry sitting in the back of his head too overwhelming for him to analyse your home. Your house felt welcoming, the sitting room open for all, the walls splattered with pictures of you and your parents. His imprint was nowhere to be found, no indication that he’d so much as stepped inside the house before, and yet he felt home. 

“Severus, (Y/N).” Your father called for you both, his eyes giving away the seriousness of whatever talk he was about to give you. You looked at him in worry, holding Severus tighter than before. You couldn’t have him ask Severus to leave, not after everything you’d been through and you weren’t ready to hear a lecture about your safety and the dangers of sneaking out at night. “Have a seat. There’s something we need to discuss.”

Severus felt his heart drop, his legs shaking in fear of what your father would say next. You could feel his nerves, his eyes heavy with worry as he looked at you. Smiling, you squeezed his hand as you led Severus to sit on the couch adjacent to your parents. You moved as close to Severus as you could, holding his arm with both your hands, showing him you wouldn’t let anything they said change how you both felt right now. You would defend him, his right to stay with you in this safe warm bubble until September came. 

“That policeman who spoke to you both last week,” your father began and you felt Severus shift in his place, both of you suspecting where this was going. For you, it was about finding assurance in his safety, but for Severus, it was about keeping himself informed to keep you out of harm’s way. “After that night at the hospital, he contacted child protective services and a case against your parents was opened.”

Your father spoke mostly to Severus, but you kept yourself hung on every word as if they were meant for you. Anything that concerned him directly affected you whether your father liked it or not. You were invested in him, living happily with him, planning a future with him.

“We don’t know all the details, but we do know the police tried to visit Eileen and Tobias Snape to ask a few questions and instead found their home bare. They spent about a day searching for them before releasing a warrant for their arrest,” your father spoke calmly, doing his best to ease you both into this new development, but you couldn’t help wonder how long he’d known about this, how he’d spent all week waiting for Severus to come home, for the pressure you felt to melt away. 

“What?!” Severus could hardly believe what he was hearing. Of all the possibilities he thought would come of the interrogation with the policeman, this was not one of them. He wasn’t sure how to feel, what could possibly be going through the minds of his parents right now. “What of the house?”

It wasn’t the most prominent question he could have asked, and judging by the look your father gave him, it wasn’t the question that was expected to be asked of him, but he needed to know. It was now the only thing left tying him to his childhood, the only piece of his past left to hold him back. He needed to know if it was something that would come back to pull him into the horrors he’d lived through, or if he’d been truly freed from the cruelty of the life his parents had given him. 

“The house currently remains under the name of whoever owns it, I assume your parents, and if they were to be tried, they will need someone else to make their payments, otherwise the bank will take ownership of the house.”

Severus nodded, bowing his head as he thought through what could happen next. His parents had no one that would care enough to help pay off their mortgage. No one except him. It was up to Severus whether or not he wanted to let the house die in the loneliness it felt now, or revive it, build it anew and create memories he perhaps wouldn’t grow to hate. He held the key on his past possessed with the power of ridding him of everything he’d resented over the years. He shouldn’t have hesitated to slam the door shut, lock it and toss away the key, but it was hard from him to let go. As much as he hated Spinner’s End, that house was the reason he’d grown to be who he was, the potential he held within him. 

“Severus, there’s something else you need to understand.” Your father leaned forward and you both gave him your full attention again, your hearts beating furiously as you waited to see what more you’d missed this past week. “Your parents were declared unfit to raise you, which means child protective services filed to put you under their care.”

“No!” you immediately protested, completely heartbroken at the thought of Severus having to leave you for a bunch of strangers who wouldn’t care for him like you would. Your father raised his hand, asking you to wait until he was finished, but you couldn’t contain yourself. You couldn’t take any more of this. “He’s not leaving! I won’t let them take him!”

“I understand (Y/N),” your father stayed calm as he tried to go on and for the first time since you saw him that day, you let go of Severus’ hand just to throw them over his shoulders, hugging him as tightly as you could. Severus gently wrapped his arms around you, bowing his head to meet your shoulder. It could have been worse. His parents could have found him before all of this and cleared it all up with the authorities, but they didn’t and at least this way, he could still see you, he could still be with you. “Your mother and I have discussed this, and we know that in the Wizarding World you are of age Severus, which means you won’t need legal guardians once you leave for Hogwarts. Until then, we’ve decided to take up the responsibility of becoming your legal guardians.”

Both of you were left speechless, frozen as you stayed with your arms wrapped around one another. It seemed too good to be true, a golden ticket just handed to you after the headache of a week you had. Loosening your grip on Severus, you looked over at your parents and giggled in glee. You were so blissfully happy you weren’t even sure how to react.

“I-I don’t know what to say,” Severus spoke in such a small voice, his tone neutral. You’d never seen him so starstruck before. Even if he never showed it, he’d always been sure of himself, always knew how he felt, what to say, but for the first time ever, he was completely helpless to the situation. Your smile grew wider as you took his hand again, pulling back from Severus to look at your parents with such gratitude. 

“We’re just glad you’re safe,” your mum smiled at him, standing from her seat. “I’ll go make lunch, I’m sure we’re all feeling a bit famished after everything that’s happened this week.”

She walked out of view and you felt yourself relax, taking in the fact that it was truly over. Everything had worked itself out; Severus was safe, and you didn’t have to worry over him all summer anymore. You could finally enjoy your time together and perhaps for once, Severus could have a summer that didn’t end with him looking forward to a new semester at Hogwarts.

“I’ve moved your belongings into the guest bedroom. I suggest you start unpacking. Tomorrow, we can drive by your house to pick up anything you left behind.” Your father gestured down the hall before he stood to follow your mother into the kitchen. Finally, you were left alone and you couldn’t do anything but let out your happiness, throwing your head back with your arms in the air as you sighed loudly.

Severus looked at you and smiled, sitting back with you, watching you let go of all the stress he’d caused you this past week. Your arms fell down in your lap and he reached out to take your hand for once. You gladly squeezed back as he tightened his hold on you, seeking for the comfort you’d so graciously let him lean on this past week. He was happy to see you finally let go of your worry over him. He never wanted to weigh you down and he didn’t want to be the source of any of your stress. 

“Let’s go unpack,” you said, pulling him off the couch and leading him down the hall. The guest room was much larger than he would have imagined, larger than his room at least. The bed was large, a queen-sized mattress sitting in the middle of the room against the back wall. Two nightstands stood on either side of the bed, a few picture frames hanging around the room, bringing the room to life. His trunk was at the edge of the bed like it had been sitting there for years. You walked inside the room and sat on the bed, watching him as he opened up his trunk to find everything he held dear in this world safe and sound, ready to settle into his new home. 

“Your parents are generous,” Severus said as he shuffled through his trunk, removing his clothing and stacking up his books to one side. He’d never accepted help like he had from you this past week, and to have your parents do what they did, offer him a home and welcome him into your family was an absolute astonishment to him. He’d grown up around people who wouldn’t think twice about passing him by, assuming the worst of him because of where he lived or the clothing he wore on his back. But not you. You were the first to have ever truly accepted him for all he was, and now your parents had done the same.

“They wouldn’t turn their back on someone I love, Sev.” You were of course grateful for what your parents did, but you weren’t all that surprised. It was the right thing to do after all and it broke your heart knowing Severus didn’t understand that. He’d been so used to rejection, his parents treating him the way they did, this town shunning his side of the street, even his childhood best friend, abandoning him after everything he’d been through.

“They don’t know me,” Severus knew he shouldn’t question the generosity he was shown today, but he couldn’t help it. Your parents gained nothing from helping him, they didn’t know him and had no reason to trust him enough to let him live in their house for a few months. It didn’t make sense to him in the slightest, and his curiosity got the better of him.

“They know enough.”

“Like what?” he pushed, the urge for answers growing greater as he got closer to an explanation. 

“They know that you’d always been there for me, that you stuck by my side at Hogwarts when no one else would. They know you care for me and that I care for you. And they know you’re brilliant and deserve a chance at happiness.” Your eyes twinkled, a smirk smeared across your face as you spoke to him. 

Severus smiled as he closed his trunk, placing his clothing atop it to be put away later and carrying the stack of books to one of the nightstands. Taking a seat next to you, he ran his fingers along your hairline until his hand rested over your jaw. He looked at you as he felt you leaning into him, placing a hand over his, returning his smile.

“Your dreams are too optimistic,” he said softly, secretly hoping you were right. He would love nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with you, to support you as you’d done him. 

“I beg to differ. I think they are completely realistic.” Severus chuckled. You always opposed his pessimism, the light in the darkness he lived in and he had no idea what he would do if that light ever went out. For years he’d tried to imagine it, living without you, trying to stay independent, but he couldn’t do it anymore. It was too exhausting, and it wasn’t worth it. You’d never once given him a reason to doubt you’d do anything but stay together, and he was happy for it. He let himself dream of the future he wanted, the life he needed and no matter how impossible it seemed in the past, it was definitely one that seemed probable now, one he’d fight the world to have.


End file.
